Empathetic Anomalism
by MuggleBeene
Summary: When Professor Muggle cast a real spell during his visit back to America, it didn't go unnoticed.  The Unspeakables noticed, and need to have a word.  Or more.  Set after the first Professor Muggle novel and part of the Professor Muggle story series.


**Empathetic Anomalism**

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><p><em><strong>AN: This little story takes place after the events of the Professor Muggle novels, somewhere during the midst of the story The Quiet Sister. It was written as a response to a review regarding Hank Boyd's one actual, real spell that he cast in Professor Muggle. The comment was by bookivore, and it said that the Unspeakables would want to know about that spell. Well, bookivore was right, they did want to know. Thanks for the idea.**_

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><p>"Hank, you've got a letter."<p>

Melody sorted through the post and handed me a letter. It was just as well, because I was tired of working on my textbook. The Muggle Studies textbook I had used my first year was fucking hopeless, so I was writing my own. I was hoping to use my students as a test run for my second year, but I had bigger plans for the book than that. I hoped it would be a new standard in the Wizarding world, but to be honest I was stuck at one of the exercises for first years so I welcomed the interruption. After I took the envelope from my fiancée I took a long look at it. No return information, stiff and formal parchment paper with the Ministry seal.

I held up the envelope and looked at Mel. "Why is the Ministry writing me?"

"I don't know, Hank. Why don't you try opening it up and reading it?"

"Gee, thanks, love. Never would have thought of that."

I broke the seal and took out the letter. The text was quite formal.

_17 July, 2006_

_Professor Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd,_

_Your presence is required for an informational session at the Ministry office at your earliest convenience, no later than 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday, 19 July. After obtaining your visitor's badge at Reception please report to Level Nine where further instructions will be relayed. _

_This matter is of utmost confidentiality and secrecy. Do not relay the details of this appointment to anyone. As a further precaution this message has been charmed to ensure your compliance. Any attempt to discuss the contents of this letter will be duly noted and all further repercussions will be swift and severe._

_Compliance with this request is mandatory._

_Department of Mysteries_

"Something wrong, Hank?" Melody sat across from me, her glasses on the tip of her nose, reading a cookbook my mom had sent over a while back.

"Um, no, just some paperwork. Nothing to worry about." I quickly put the letter back in the envelope, folded it up and shoved it in the pocket of my jeans. I really hoped it was nothing to worry about. _Why the fuck did the Department of Mysteries want to see me?_

-ooo-

I straightened my tie and looked at my watch. Nine in the morning, plenty of time before the drop-dead hour. Drop dead…hopefully nothing would make me drop dead, as I hadn't said one word to anybody, especially Melody. Yes, she was my fiancée, but I wasn't going to tempt fate or the Department of Mysteries, whatever the fuck that was. Yeah, the suit was probably overkill, but the letter sounded pretty severe, so I treated it like a big meeting with lawyers or an interview. The letter said it was an informational meeting, so to me that meant suit.

I sat in the little waiting area outside Level Nine and hoped that I would see someone I recognized, but that never happened. I was beginning to think it was all a sham, one of George Weasley's wonderful jokes, but then I saw the person walking towards me. I say person because I never did find out if it was a man or a woman. The crowd in the Ministry seemed to part somewhat as the person walked towards me in a deep green, almost black robe. The robes weren't an issue; hell, I wore one to teach Muggle Studies on occasion and had worn a formal set of robes to the Potter's New Year's Eve party, but this one was different as it had a cowl. An honest-to-goodness, looked like something out of a bad fantasy movie or Dungeons and Dragons illustration cowl. The person never said a word to me, only handed me a piece of parchment. I unrolled the parchment to see the words 'follow this person to the Department of Mysteries' in an ornate script, so I stood up and nodded. Without a word we walked off.

Eventually we made our way to a door, and after I walked in I knew it was going to be weird, even after all the wizarding shit I'd seen last year it was just fucking weird. The room itself was round with a ton of doors, like something out of Scooby-Doo, but the part that freaked me out was that absolutely everything in the room was black. Black floor, black ceiling, black doors…and that was when I realized the doors didn't have any goddamned handles. The only thing that wasn't black, besides me and the other person was the candles, which instead of having the normal color burned in a shade of blue. Then the person shut the door we'd entered and the whole damn place seemed to spin around, like one of those stupid rides at the county fair that goes fast and sticks you to the wall until the floor drops out. Luckily I didn't barf, that was the only saving grace, as I'd chucked up a corn dog and some cotton candy the last time I did that ride with my brother Nate when we were kids.

The person opened one of the doors and I followed them through, and thankfully the room wasn't black. It was, though, entirely white. I felt like I'd just walked into a seventies sci-fi movie. There was a desk in the middle of the room with a chair, and the robed person pointed towards the chair. I walked over and sat down, and after I did that I heard the door close. Now there were only three things in the room, me, the chair and the desk. I have no clue where the light came from. _What the fuck did I get myself into?_

Eventually I heard another sound and when I turned around I saw a man in the same deep-green robes, this time without the cowl, come up from the floor. Seriously, he came up from the floor, like through a secret elevator or something. He walked over to the table and stood opposite from me with a very serious look upon his face.

"Professor Boyd, your prompt attendance is very much appreciated. I am sure you have many questions, but before I answer any of them I require you to complete the confidentiality process. Please extend your left hand and place it upon the table, palm facing up."

As I complied with the request I took a look at the man. Late seventies if he was a day, coarse, curly brown hair and a mustache that wouldn't have looked out-of-place on a baseball player from the 1890's. His eyes were somewhat bloodshot, as if he'd stayed up for days upon end. Either that or he got into some bad tequila. Once he'd repositioned my hand, making sure my fingers were sufficiently far apart enough from the others he took out his wand and said something in a language that I'd never heard before. A pale blue light covered my hand, began to swirl, and eventually started turning as if it was in a funnel before concentrating into one pea-sized dot and vanishing into my hand.

"We will remove the restrictions before you leave, whenever that may be. For the purposes of today's interactions you may call me Chiron."

You would have thought I'd have learned to keep my mouth shut, but as usual that didn't happen. "Chiron, eh? How's Achilles? Still got foot problems?"

He stared at me for a while, which was awkward, but then he continued to stare at me until it was really uncomfortable. "Those were not the questions I was expecting. Very interesting."

I started to say that the Chiron I knew about was a centaur in mythology who was the teacher of Achilles, but I figured I'd cut my losses and didn't say anything. Eventually he conjured a chair and sat down next to me. Right next to me. Close enough I could feel his breath.

"Did you bring your wand, Professor?"

I nodded, reached into my jacket and grabbed my wand. When I put it on the table it made a lot of noise, but I chalked that up to the echo in the room. "Sorry about before. Um, what exactly am I doing here?"

He reached into his robe and brought out some parchment, glanced at it for a moment and then continued his creepy concentrating stare. "Professor, your magical skills are minimal, but we have received multiple, verified reports of your production of an unknown shielding spell in the United Magical States. The spell produced was apparently strong enough to repulse the killing curse and rebounded against the caster, ceasing his existence on this plane. You are here so that we may endeavor to ascertain how you were able to cast the spell, the type of spell, and research any implications of your usage of magic. You will truthfully answer all questions, submit to any tests and remain here in the Department of Mysteries until we are satisfied with the results."

"Um, ok. I guess that's…wait…" I sat back and shook my head. "I'm taking my fiancée out to dinner tonight. Y'all aren't going to make me late, are you? How long is…"

He shrugged. "Hours, days…trivial things in the pursuit of knowledge."

"Aww fuck."

-ooo-

Luckily the first thing we actually did was have tea. That made me feel better, even though as I sat there sipping my tea Chiron assumed a cross-legged thing like a yoga pose and fucking floated in the air at table height. Once I'd given up and decided to just roll with the fact that I was in for a very long and completely weird day Chiron made a very long, single piece of parchment unroll in front of him. Apparently it was the transcript of all my official dealings with the Wizangamot; more to the point, it was about my testimony about the magical levels and the M.A.L.T. test, the one that told me I'm 1.3% wizard.

Then the questions began, and they were odd to say the least. Chiron asked me if I'd ever eaten the raw, still-warm liver of a newly-killed hippogriff, if I'd ever pulled three hairs from the tail of a black cat at midnight under a full moon in a graveyard, shit like that. Of course I hadn't done any of those things. For a moment he was interested to my answer if I'd ever assumed a different form by will, but he wasn't very happy when I told him I dressed up like a vampire for Halloween one year at college. After an hour or so of that he waved his wand and the long parchment rolled itself up and floated in front of his face. After he put it in his robe he stopped levitating and stood up.

"I believe it is time for the physical tests. If you would gather your wand and follow me, please."

I put my wand in my pocket and followed him to the wall, where he made a triangular door appear. Luckily the ceiling was about twenty feet tall and the 'door' went from floor to ceiling so it wasn't much of a stretch to walk through. Hell, I could have driven a Cadillac through that door. We walked down a long, meandering hallway of iridescent bricks until we reached another door, and after passing through we were in another circular room. This one was made of stone, though; rough-hewn stone that looked ancient.

"Professor, I believe before we do the tests we need to recreate the conditions under which you cast the spell. Jocasta, if you would join us, please."

I heard a small sound behind me and when I turned there stood a woman in the same colored robes as Chiron, but instead of being old she was ancient. If any movie needed someone to fill the role of 'old crone' she was a perfect fit. She didn't say a word; instead she took out her wand and looked at Chiron. Together they began casting a spell, and that's when everything shifted.

I was no longer in the Ministry at the Department of Mysteries, I was at my Mom and Dad's house, just like it was that night when my brother Ted got married. It had only been a couple of weeks since that shitty night when the Fourth of July fireworks turned into something sinister, but it could have been that night, as the room had melted away. I looked around and everything was there; fuck, I could see forever, past the trees, past the garage that I knew had blown up when the WLF attacked…sonovabitch. Even weirder were the shapes that moved around me, and when I concentrated the shapes took on forms, and not just any forms. Mom. Dad. Melody. Lavender. Everybody that was there before the fireworks started, and when I looked down there was my niece Maddie. Chiron and Jocasta were nowhere to be seen.

Then it happened just like it had before, the same Knights of the Wand asshole started charging the gazebo where we stood that night. In some part of my mind I knew that it was just an illusion, that it was a spell, the freaking holodeck from Star Trek or the Danger Room from the X-Men, something like that. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. But it sure as hell felt real. As the asshole came closer, broke my brother Nate's nose and pointed his wand at Maddie I just reacted and pointed my wand at Maddie, hoping that the spell that had come from somewhere that night would come out again and save her.

Nothing happened.

As soon as the tattooed asshole's spell came in contact with Maddie everything changed in a flash. I was no longer in my parent's gazebo; I was once again in the Ministry with Chiron and Jocasta. I looked at them but they were silent and only looked at each other with confused expressions. With a slight nod towards Chiron, Jocasta turned and walked through the wall. I blinked a few times and realized that I'd just watched a woman walk through a fucking wall.

Chiron walked over to me and freaking sniffed my hair. Once he'd finished he stared at me. "We recreated things correctly, did we not? Our reports were quite detailed."

Once I found my voice I replied. "Yeah. Looked just like my Mom and Dad's old place that night."

-ooo-

Once again I sat with Chiron at the table in the white room. Well, I sat and he hovered. Instead of a single long roll of parchment he was surrounded by books, some of them on the desk, some in piles next to him in a semi-circle. After reading one passage in a book he would send it over to a stack against one wall, rotate in the air until he found another book and would start again. Finally he threw up his hands.

"You, professor, are a most curious person. Can you show me once again what you can do with your wand on a consistent, repeatable basis?"

By that time I was irritated and getting nervous, as the last time I'd looked at my watch I'd realized that it was after three in the afternoon. I was hungry, still pissed off that they'd done the whole 'you are there' shit with the whole Fourth of July thing and I had a bad feeling that I was going to end up apologizing to Melody for missing our dinner reservations. To be honest I really didn't give a shit, so I reached into my jacket and pulled out a cigarette. Instead of thinking about lighting it, though, I needed something happy, as the day had been utter crap. I thought about how good it was waking up next to Melody, that she was my fiancée, and that we'd be getting married soon. That was enough to do the trick, and when I waved my wand a small, feeble flame came out of the end, sufficient enough to light my smoke.

I expected Chiron to pitch a fit about the smoke, but instead he looked pleasantly surprised.

"Professor, can you impart what your process is mentally regarding the production of flames? The exact process, please."

"Um, sure. The only time I can do anything worth a shit is when I think of something that makes me really happy or really angry. Like you went over hours ago, the first time I did anything worth talking about with my wand was when I was really angry and set that plant on fire that Neville gave me for Christmas. I thought about my fiancée, waking up next to her this morning. Oh, and that we're getting married soon."

Chiron thought for a moment, his tongue rolling around enough to make his cheek bulge out slightly. "Our reports regarding the shield spell begin when Aurors Potter and Brown were outside with your family. What happened before that? Auror Potter's report indicates that you were outside with your mother prior to his arrival."

I thought back for a moment and realized I knew something, a conversation that had happened, and more importantly what was in my pocket when everything went crazy. "Nobody knows, just me and my mom. We sat out there and that's when we talked about Melody, and I think Mom knew then that we'd get engaged. She gave me my Gran's engagement ring…see, Mom and Dad were in the process of moving to Florida and they were giving away things to all us kids. She told me that I couldn't tell anyone but that Gran was my favorite. I think that's the moment I realized that I was going to ask Melody to marry me."

The white, bushy eyebrows on Chiron's head rose seemingly to the ceiling. "And another piece falls into place. Professor, your grandmother, the previous owner of the ring…was she descended…"

"Yep, that's it. She was part of the magical bloodline. Molly Weasley helped me trace everything, and…"

"And the current location of the ring in question?"

"On Melody's hand."

He quickly took out a piece of parchment and a quill materialized from somewhere. After writing for a moment he handed me the parchment.

"You will give this to your fiancée. To her it will seem as an offer of free services from Fiona's Filigree, a cleaning of the ring and verification of its settings. You are to ensure that she follows through on the offer, as it is of utmost importance that we have the chance to evaluate the ring. I can assure you that it will be returned to her the next day. Now, if you will follow me."

I put the parchment in my pocket, stood up from the table and followed him out of the room, once again through a series of curious hallways until we reached a very old and sturdy-looking door that had one large padlock on it.

"This, Professor, is the doorway to The Ever-Locked Room. It cannot be opened by magical means, and entrance to its environs is strictly prohibited to only the most trained Unspeakables. We will not enter this room; however, I would ask you to walk over there, place your hand upon the door and tell me exactly what comes into your mind."

I admit that I wasn't thinking about the door. Instead I was trying to think about convincing Melody about the jewelry shop note that was in my jacket pocket. The moment I laid my hand on the wood, though… "I can see Melody's face, and the night we spent together after the horrible Boxing Day tea at her mom's house. And I see her kissing me in the Ministry after I proposed. I feel warm, too." I pulled my hand off of the door. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Chiron was positively beaming. "It means, Professor, that I believe we have solved part of conundrum." He pulled another piece of parchment out of his robes and handed it to me. "The letter you now hold will take care of any questions that you may receive regarding your appointment here today. To your fiancée, and any others, it will explain that you were required to attend another meeting regarding your particular secrecy agreements. Copies of the letter will remain in your file in the Auror department to substantiate the illusion. I thank you for your prompt attendance today and your willingness to answer truthfully." He took out his wand and conjured up a writing desk. "I only have one form for you to sign and you will be free to go."

I stepped over to the writing desk, looked at the form for a minute and then took an ink pen out of my jacket.

"I'm afraid not." Chiron handed me a dark red quill. "Procedure must be followed."

_Procedure? Whatever._ I took the quill from him and began to read the form in detail. It was a magically binding contract, one that would seal the events of the day and prevent me from telling anyone, even Melody, up to the day I died. I would not be able to say a word, even under duress, under the influence of a potion or Veritaserum. Any attempt to pull the memory from me would fail. I would retain my memories, but they would be distant, as if it was a dream. I looked at my watch, only an hour or so before I had to meet Melody for the dinner reservations. I didn't see an inkpot so I assumed it was one of those self-inking quills, so I put the quill on the parchment and began to sign, and that's when I felt the burning sensation on my left hand. I stopped writing and the burning stopped, but when I started to write again it returned, and that's when I figured it out; blood. I was signing my name in my own blood.

"It will leave no scar or any permanent damage. It would be as if you cut yourself by accident, less blood than that, actually." Chiron seemed blasé about the whole thing. "Standard procedure."

I finished writing my name on the contract, and as soon as I handed Chiron the quill the parchment rolled itself up and floated up towards the ceiling where it disappeared. After I took a deep breath I adjusted my glasses and looked over to Chiron. "Now about Melody's ring…"

"Ah, yes. We will send you a letter once all tests have been completed. As I said before, it will take a day at most, probably less. The writing on the letter will disappear once you have finished reading it, so you do not have to worry about that. Your silence regarding the matter has been confirmed by your signature on the previous contract."

_Wait, another fucking contract? I'd just signed a contract?_ "So…"

Chiron shook his head, ignored the rest of my questions and pointed towards the newly created door.

-ooo-

Two days later I was in the garden while Melody was over at Hannah Abbot's house doing something, I can't recall what, when the owl came. Once again it was the same stiff parchment with the Ministry seal. This time I nearly ripped the envelope apart to get to the letter.

_Professor Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd,_

_Our tests have indicated that there is a slight enchantment on the ring that Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble provided at Fiona's Filigree. It is an Everlasting charm, one that renders the object in perfect repair and cleanliness at all times. It provides no enhancements regarding fidelity, affection or binding of the giver to the receiver. _

_It is the belief of the Unspeakables that you cast the unknown spell to protect your niece as a highly improbable and unrepeatable event. We may call upon you at another time of our choosing for further research, but it is the present view of the Unspeakables that you produced an empathetic anomalism. The confluence of your feelings towards your future fiancée, specifically the realization that you were going to ask her to marry you, the memories of your grandmother and the conversation with your mother produced intense, potentially euphoric feelings of love. It was in that highly charged state that the events of 4 July occurred. As you have indicated by the production of fire with your wand and the mental state prior to that act, you are an empathic magic user, one of the least understood realms of magic. We believe that even if you were placed under similar circumstances that the event on 4 July would not be repeatable._

_We will continue to monitor your actions within the Wizarding world and will be greatly interested in any and all progeny to result from your impending marriage to Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble. Do not attempt to contact us in any way; we will disavow any knowledge of our previous meeting. _

_We thank you for your cooperation and reiterate the terms of the contract signed in your own blood on 19 July, 2006._

_Chiron_

As soon as I read Chiron's name it was as he said; the text began disappearing until I was left with a blank parchment. I took out my wand and thought about the rather 'fun' time I'd had with Melody the night before, and after lighting a cigarette I lit the blank parchment on fire.

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><p><em>Colony House, 2081<em>

"Are you sure I can write all this down, Hank?"

I looked down at Polly, my great-great Granddaughter. Minnie's granddaughter, to be exact. The question sounded just like one Minnie would have asked me. "Hey, I'm a portrait now. The contract said I couldn't reveal anything up to the day that I died. I died a long time ago. Besides, I know that the story of the one spell I did that was worth a shit would be very intriguing for a lot of people. I mean, hell, Harry Potter tried to teach me to use magic and I couldn't do it worth a damn. If he couldn't teach me, well…fuck, he's Harry Potter. Was. Goddamnit, I get so tired of trying to remember whether people are alive or dead. Tenses are hard enough when you're alive."

She laughed and sat back in the chair that was pushed up towards the wall near my portrait. "So can I tell them all this along with the other journals of yours I found? I'm worried about what will happen when the Unspeakables find out."

I shook my head. "The contract said absolutely nothing about any of my descendants spilling the beans. I found out about contracts the hard way my first year at Hogwarts. You're in the clear. As for the Unspeakables?" I laughed hard at that one. "I held up my part of the contract. Fuck 'em. I'm dead."


End file.
